Here are 8 basic things you can do that will help break down the best ways to approach most situations.
You've been looking too hot lately
and now someone is ready to handle all that heat.
This sounds fun to a lot of people but a lot of others get nervous and it's understandable. You could be a virgin or maybe it has been awhile since your last time. It still never hurts to get a refresher or hear a different perspective. What matters is you have attracted someone and they want you like biscuits want butter.
Understanding what to do and how to approach it can help. You could be starting a long term relationship or having a casual meet up with someone but these tips can still apply.
Evaluate yourself.
Every situation is different. You may attract someone for many different reasons. We all have things to offer. Find out what is it that you can offer and be honest about what they might be interested in. Finding out what they like is important but you should be clear about what you like and dislike. Figure out what you want out of this and be real about the expectations & reasons. Avoid being angry at your partner or yourself when the situation is not what you want it to be. Do not set yourself up for failure by setting up an unrealistic standard for yourself, them, or the situation. Find ways to build yourself up and improve your overall value but do not try so hard it is awkward or seems forced. Take some time to clean yourself up a bit. When you look good it is easier to feel good. Smelling nice never hurts. Be yourself but know when being too much of yourself can stop someone you are interested in from being themselves. Find ways to make sure you are comfortable while making sure they are comfortable and remember we all have different ideas of comfort so learn what your partner's idea of comfortable is. Overall just work to improve yourself and find someone to work with who is willing to work with you.
Evaluate your partner.
If you are going to be intimate with someone it is probably a good idea to know a little about them. Asking the basics like their name and if they are single seem like enough questions for some but usually you'll need a little more. Learn some of their likes and dislikes. Find out what they are comfortable with and what bothers them. What are they insecure about and what are their best traits? Use this information to avoid disrespecting them or causing awkward moments while being intimate. You can be prepared ahead of time when you know some of their preferences. Most people want to be pleased and they will tell you how if you know how to ask. It is also important to know that people will really open up if you know how to keep their secrets and enjoy the best parts of them.
Evaluate the relationship.
You should have an idea of where your relationship is at. Is it a one time thing? Is it a few casual meets ups? You could be friends with benefits? Could it be the start of something long term? Sometimes it is too soon to know. It is important to be honest with how things really are and not how you want things to be. What do they want and what do you want? Is this person important you. Are you unsure about something that is really bothering you? It might be better to deal with it before the moment comes and you are not able to focus. Everyone is different so think about the best way to ask any questions that you have.
Understanding boundaries.
A night can be ruined by one action or a misunderstanding. Take some time to ask questions and set up clear boundaries. Find out each other's boundaries so it is less to think about when the time comes to do the mattress mambo. You do not want your partner to lose heat or interest in the moment because you decided to spank or choke them and it crossed a boundary. You might not be too happy if they do that to you or slipped a finger in your butt before knowing it wasn't okay. It should be easy to create boundaries after taking a little bit of time to evaluate yourself, your partner and the relationship. Remember every situation is different and it is better not to assume anything.
Be prepared.
Make it easier to enjoy the moment by preparing for it. Have a plan for how you want things to go but be flexible. Your partner might appreciate having some options. You can find out where to start by using what you know about yourself, your partner, the relationship and which boundaries you have both already established. How you prepare can depend on the situation but in general you want to eat something light, get a little blood flow going, practice breathing and get hydrated before meeting them. Take time to clean yourself up a bit and find subtle ways to highlight your good attributes without going overboard. A small gift can also be a great way to open up the conversation. It is okay if they like something and you may not be able to provide it. You can find a way to compensate without over compensating. Being prepared is also important to avoid awkward situations. What are some ways you can prepare for that? Carry some gum or mints. Bring a drink to avoid dry mouth. Have some tissues and at least 2 condoms. If you really want to be on the safe side you can carry some Pepto tablets. Remember to prepare for things like the weather or emergencies. Be aware of where you are going and find ways to stay safe. Let a third party know about your location, who you are with and a time that they should expect to hear from you. Doing all of this is worth it and it takes more off your mind so you can actually enjoy yourself.
Turning on your partner.
What turns you on? What turns on your partner? After taking the time to learn about yourself and your partner it becomes easier to answer those questions. That nervous feeling may set in but you have prepared for this. Remember to breathe and there should be no rush at all. If you have to rush it then you are doing too much. Make sure both of you are comfortable. You know what you like and you now know what your partner likes. Enjoy what you like about them and find ways so that they can enjoy you too. This is the time to do some foreplay but how should you start? Try to listen to your partner's body and ask your partner what they want. Do not let things get stale when there are ways to mix it up. There are different kinds of foreplay. Try using a mix by kissing, touching, rubbing, grabbing, talking, or even using toys. A good massage never hurts but it depends on what you and your partner like. This seems like a lot of work but it will help you feel less pressure to preform later on.
Pleaser & Pleasure.
Okay now things are getting intense. You both are hot and bothered. The question now becomes how do I stay engaged? Do not worry. It is easy to stay engaged when you have prepared & you are able to use what you've learned to enjoy the moment. Remember you can let your partner guide you but do not be afraid to guide them either. Some people can last awhile and it may be better for their partners to do most of the foreplay and teasing. Some people are quicker and being quick to finish can be an issue but there are ways to last longer. If you are quick to climax you will need to do most of the teasing and foreplay until your partner is closer to climaxing. Sometimes if you are close to climaxing it might be good to buy yourself some time by changing positions, angles, speed, depth or using toys to speed up your partner. You know what they like so let them feel how much you want them to climax and the rest should come natural. Enjoy the fact that you are turning them on. Once both of you have finished it's good to take a moment, relax and clean up a bit. Use the moment to figure out if you will stay longer or leave. After thinking about what you want you should also ask your partner.
Happy ending.
You and your partner have just had sex and now it's time to decide what to do next. It might be a good idea to leave but if you and your partner are both comfortable there is no reason you shouldn't stay and enjoy their company. Figure out a good time to leave and let them know how long you plan to stay or ask when they plan on leaving. Try not to over stay your welcome and avoid letting them over stay their welcome too. It's good to know when to end it. Make sure not to forget anything. After spending time with your partner it is good to think about your time together and decide where you'd like to go from there.
I hope reading this article has helped and I'm sorry if I missed anything but I'm sure you can handle things now. Be safe out there.
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